Welcome to HappierAtSchool, the blog to help teenagers being more confident and achieve their true potential.
There’s a myriad of things to learn at school; Maths, English, Science, Art, IT, the list goes on.
But what about ‘being different’…maybe because you have some health problem, learning difficulty, stutter, very shy or just ‘don’t fit in?’
This can make you feel so awful, lowers confidence and self-esteem and can make you feel very lonely. These are just some of the things that happen when you are going through school/college years. I know, I was one of them, incredibly shy, quiet and unconfident, except with my best friend (yes I did have one). However, deep within myself I wanted to be an actress, from my exterior, you would never have thought I could have achieved that. Yet, I went on to get my first professional acting job on stage at age 18 and never stopped working in theatre, TV as well as making a few films and doing radio.
You can turn anything into an opportunity, no matter how ‘bad’ it is. Turn a situation to your advantage, and if you do it will really serve you later in life.
Although I still do some acting, I now have my business as a Personal Development Coach & Hypnotherapist. I would say a huge percentage of my adult clients’ problems began in school and/or with their families. After all, who has the perfect family!
Whatever may have happened, or is happening in your life now, doesn’t mean you are not a worthwhile, valuable human being, despite what the bullies (the truly insecure people), your parents or your own perceptions may tell you.
You can CHANGE IT NOW! By changing that faulty thinking (which usually involves putting yourself down or blaming others or both)!
Even if you feel incredibly lonely and not good enough, raise that bar inside of you, the bar of you creating huge self belief.
So, deciding, no matter what people say or do, YOU are in charge of your own RESPONSES ; No-one can take that away from you. So choose those responses carefully. Are you going to put yourself down, feel bad and then miss out on how good life could be. It’s your choice, it’s an opportunity.
A good thing to remember is ‘fake it till you make it’. This is where you look the world in the eye, without aggression, defence, timidity or fear and you send out the signal, so what if I’m dyslexic, have seizures, am not the brightest in the class and not the most popular, I’m still me!
Just by taking that mental stance two things happen: You change what you feel inside, that then changes your outward ‘vibration’, so that people just feel there’s something different about you, even if it’s just not lowering your eyes or caving in with your body in new or awkward situations.
The bullies, the others, begin to ‘get it’. You are facing the world on your terms and it starts by accepting yourself: “yes, this is me, warts and all, I’m not perfect just like you and the rest of the planet, I don’t need your acceptance or approval, I approve of me, I accept me.”
By changing your behaviour, which is neither defence nor attack, just being you, often changes others, not always immediately, but that doesn’t matter, because you feel good about you inside, that’s all that matters because you live with you 24/7.
The second great spin-off, done often enough, is that it changes the neurons in your brain which means the brain ‘learns’ something new, (this new behaviour) just like learning a sport or language. The brain is Neuroplastic. Imagine play doh if you like, moulding it into the same shape over and over, it begins to take on a shape like a permanent fixture. Your brain is like that, what you think about the most, causes chemical reactions in the brain (be it positive, negative or neutral), this then makes us feel a certain way, until we decide to change it, or not! Beware the power of your thoughts, do not underestimate them.
This of course, takes practice, you’re not going to condition this into your nervous system until you keep doing it until it becomes second nature.
Imagine what else you can do, when you start to take control of your own mind. Do it, start it now, change your thoughts to more empowering ones. Your really are worth it, don’t wait for the world to tell you that you are great, chances are, they won’t, until you start acting like that, being your authentic self.
Even if you ‘fake it till you make it’, at least that is a more positive thought and therefore feeling, do it NOW!